the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
