wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize