all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
