Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
