She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
