3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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