This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize