So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
