wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Randomize
