Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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