We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk is not a location!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
