Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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