Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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