youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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