My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
