She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize