I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
