But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize