YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
the raccoons are back...
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