ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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