oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
