i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
