is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
