its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
