someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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