Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
