I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
