hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
