I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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