i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the raccoons are back...
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