You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
