There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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