"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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