Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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