True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
