who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
