Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
