I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
