Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
