One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
