At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
