it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
