Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
