Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
