it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize