Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
