this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
