I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
