Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
