plz talk dirty to me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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