big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
