You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
