ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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