I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
