Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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