Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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