dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize