OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
