Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
